In all likelihood, I was meant to miss Fajr this morning. The last thing I did before falling asleep at 2 am was talk with a friend. When she put me on hold, sleep overtook me and the cell just slipped from my hand & on to my pillow. The Fajr alarm on the phone is set on default, but I need to keep it far from my bed in order to ensure I getup.
At 5 am, the alarm must’ve gone. My hand must have pulled it from under the pillow and expertly not only cancelled it but also deactivated the snooze option with my eyes closed. I returned to deep slumber.
“الله اكبر الله اكبر”
The words of the Iqaamah from our masjid hit my ears & pulled me out the unconscious state.
My drowsy mind calculated the time – must’ve been 5:30. The Imam’s call was filtering into my room through the open window. I was too heavy with sleep to pay heed to the call of salvation.
“Its okay, just sleep,” a soothing whisper relaxed my mind and I closed my eyes.
“الْحَمْدُ للهِ رَبَ الْعَالَمِينَ”
In the delirious sleep-induced state, I found myself appreciating the beauty of our masjid’s Imam’s recitation.
Still couldn’t resist. Still couldn’t getup.
In a cloudy haze of sleep, jumbled thoughts competed for my attention. My mind threw at me a reminder of previous night’s conversation with my friend. She had told me about the death of a 19yrs old university student in a car crash that day. I remembered saying to her something about the suddenness of death and how unprepared we are at our age.
My eyes were now open, but, I still could not getup. The weight was still there.
My mind then took me back by two weeks & reminded me about this video I had watched recently. It depicted young people ignoring salah – a habit that becomes a source of regret for their souls when their life comes to an end suddenly.
“I don’t want moments of regret,” the inner voice said. Some of the heaviness was lifted. But I still remained motionless.
the Words of the Quran flowed in through the window & permeated the air.
My mind, once again, worked diligently to offer yet more incentives. I smiled as I recalled reading, two days ago, the image-rich tafseer of the word, ‘Fajr’ on another sister’s site. I pictured the dawn sky being split by the first ray of the morning Sun.
The residual drowsiness of slumber was almost gone. But I remained in bed, still.
“وَلَيَالٍ عَشْرٍ “
Hadn’t I gotten a reminder recently that these words refer to the best 10 days of the year? “Why am I missing out? Why am I still in bed then?” the inner voice was stronger & louder.
I had decided to get up, but was probably waiting for one strong push. It seemed like all living beings in my neighborhood were soaking in the beauty of the words that were spilling in the air. I, too, continued to revel in the recitation of the soorah.
“يأَيَّتُهَا النَّفْسُ الْمُطْمَئِنَّةُ – ارْجِعِى إِلَى رَبِّكِ رَاضِيَةً مَّرْضِيَّةً – فَادْخُلِى فِى عِبَادِى – وَادْخُلِى جَنَّتِى”
I found my calling. I prayed that I get to hear these words of good news when I leave this world. Tossed the blanket away and jumped out of bed. Alhumdullilah.
” اللهم أعني على ذكرك ، وشكرك وحسن عبادتك “
“O Allah, help me to remember You, to give You thanks, and to perform Your worship in the best manner.” *
* Abu Dawud 2/86, An-Nasai 3/53, Al Albani Sahih Abu Dawud 1/284.