Tags

, , , ,

   ****The Relationship Bank Account***

bankingGrowing up, what pushed my mom’s hot button was when I’d forget to take out the garbage. Too often, on Friday mornings, I’d hear Mom screaming: “Sean, get your rear end out of bed! I can hear the garbage truck coming and you forgot the garbage – again!” Eventually, she resorted to posting reminder notes on everything – the door, the fridge, the vanity, my pillow. “SEAN. DO THE GARBAGE OR DIE!”
I also learned ways to get on Mom’s good side. Mom just loved it when I’d get good grades. She’d stick my report card up on the walls for all her friends to see and would brag, brag, brag. She also loved it when I’d help do the dishes or carry the groceries in. That’s how I made up for all those missed garbage runs and kept our relationship in the plus column.
The amount of trust you have in a relationship is like a checking account at a bank. I call it the Relationship Bank Account or RBA. If you make lots of small deposits by being thoughtful, loyal, and other such things, you’ll develop high trust, or high RBA. When it comes to your parents, how’s your RBA? If $1,000 represents a strong relationship with your parents, how much have you deposited? Is there really $1,000 in the bank or is it more like $500? Perhaps you’re down around $0 or are overdrawn at -$1,000. Whatever your situation, the formula is the same: You build a relationship a deposit at a time.
Here are five deposits that seem to work well with parents. Of course, with every deposit, there’s an opposing withdrawal.

Deposits                                           Withdrawals
Understand what’s important to them           Assume you know
Tell the truth                                                 Lie and cover up
Sense the need and do it                               Wait until you’re told
Remember the little things                            Forget the little things
Open up                                                        Close yourself off
Use the most important words                      Avoid the most important words

 

Source:
“The 6 Most Important Decisions You’ll Ever Make” – Sean Covey, pp. 130-131

About these ads