What Woke Me Up For Fajr Today

                                                                          

In all likelihood, I was meant to miss Fajr this morning. The last thing I did before falling asleep at 2 am was talk with a friend. When she put me on hold, sleep overtook me and the cell just slipped from my hand & on to my pillow. The Fajr alarm on the phone is set on default, but I need to keep it far from my bed in order to ensure I getup.

At 5 am, the alarm must’ve gone. My hand must have pulled it from under the pillow and expertly not only cancelled it but also deactivated the snooze option with my eyes closed. I returned to deep slumber.

“الله اكبر الله اكبر”

The words of the Iqaamah from our masjid hit my ears & pulled me out the unconscious state.

My drowsy mind calculated the time – must’ve been 5:30. The Imam’s call was filtering into my room through the open window. I was too heavy with sleep to pay heed to the call of salvation.

“Its okay, just sleep,” a soothing whisper relaxed my mind and I closed my eyes.

“الْحَمْدُ للهِ رَبَ الْعَالَمِينَ”

 In the delirious sleep-induced state, I found myself appreciating the beauty of our masjid’s Imam’s recitation.

Still couldn’t resist. Still couldn’t getup.

In a cloudy haze of sleep, jumbled thoughts competed for my attention. My mind threw at me a reminder of previous night’s conversation with my friend. She had told me about the death of a 19yrs old university student in a car crash that day. I remembered saying to her something about the suddenness of death and how unprepared we are at our age.

My eyes were now open, but, I still could not getup. The weight was still there.

My mind then took me back by two weeks & reminded me about this video I had watched recently. It depicted young people ignoring salah – a habit that becomes a source of regret for their souls when their life comes to an end suddenly.

“I don’t want moments of regret,” the inner voice said. Some of the heaviness was lifted. But I still remained motionless.

“وَالْفَجْرِ”    

 the Words of the Quran flowed in through the window & permeated the air.

My mind, once again, worked diligently to offer yet more incentives. I smiled as I recalled reading, two days ago, the image-rich tafseer of the word, ‘Fajr’ on another sister’s site. I pictured the dawn sky being split by the first ray of the morning Sun.   

The residual drowsiness of slumber was almost gone. But I remained in bed, still.

“وَلَيَالٍ عَشْرٍ “

Hadn’t I gotten a reminder recently that these words refer to the best 10 days of the year? “Why am I missing out? Why am I still in bed then?” the inner voice was stronger & louder.

I had decided to get up, but was probably waiting for one strong push. It seemed like all living beings in my neighborhood were soaking in the beauty of the words that were spilling in the air. I, too, continued to revel in the recitation of the soorah.

“يأَيَّتُهَا النَّفْسُ الْمُطْمَئِنَّةُ – ارْجِعِى إِلَى رَبِّكِ رَاضِيَةً مَّرْضِيَّةً – فَادْخُلِى فِى عِبَادِى – وَادْخُلِى جَنَّتِى”

I found my calling. I prayed that I get to hear these words of good news when I leave this world. Tossed the blanket away and jumped out of bed. Alhumdullilah.

 ” اللهم أعني على ذكرك ، وشكرك وحسن عبادتك “

“O Allah, help me to remember You, to give You thanks, and to perform Your worship in the best manner.” *

* Abu Dawud 2/86, An-Nasai 3/53, Al Albani Sahih Abu Dawud 1/284.  

Our Temporary Companions

As close friends we are comfortable with talking about anything under the sun. Yet, it’s understood that if we decide to pray taraweeh in the same masjid, we would pray in two opposite corners (or at least not close together).

Why? Because we seek the uninhibited freedom & comfort that is afforded by the company of total strangers, to immerse in & relish the prayer experience. Strange? Perhaps.  

As strangers, standing so close, side by side, shoulder to shoulder, feet to feet, motionless, for the lengthy periods of qiyaam – you share a different, almost unique, bond with the individuals on your right & left.

In unison, the hearts sway with the tempo of the recitation of Quran, quivering in fear at the mention of Hell, fluttering in delight at the descriptions of Paradise, awed by the manifestation of Allah (SubbhanaWaTaAla)’s Names & Attributes and humbled at the eloquently cited examples of His creation.

 Diversified through various languages, age & social status they seek the same ultimate goals, have the same hopes, and pray for the same successes. As the eyes flow, noses run & tongues move in unison with ‘the Ameen’s, the amazing bond that unites them – the strangers – transcends beyond this world & time.

As the imam calls salaams, the unique relationship comes to an end. Worldly strangers once again, they disperse, sometimes with a polite greeting & sometimes, without even a side glance – at their temporary companions.

 The close friends meet again at the door and talk….. about their Eid plans.

A tiny part of them left behind with the nameless companions they will probably never meet again.